2005-04-23 - 12:10 a.m.
I have been slacking off on everything way too much! I have shit that I HAVE to do, but just don't feel like doing any of it. I mean, I want to, but I guess I'm back in a funk again. I have 9 million things going through my head, and no filing system to keep track of them all. So I keep losing my place, losing my thoughts, losing my stuff, losing time, losing myself. It's a losing battle. I guess in order to win a battle though, you actually have to fight, but who has the energy to do that?
I know I'm only 26 right now, but I've been thinking about that future that's coming up in 3.5 years. I said I'd wait until I was 30 at least to have kids. Well, I don't think I'm gonna have a problem with that. Right now, I'm not even sure I WANT kids. Vi, I haven't the slightest idea how you do it. I see people with kids, or A kid, and it makes ME tired. I don't think I'll ever have the energy to raise a child with the care and devotion that they would need. And where do these little people fit into my life? Nowhere right now. I know I'll change my mind, because I love my husband who really wants kids. But will I magically get that energy that I've NEVER had in my life? I've always been a rather lethargic person, so what will happen? Life sucks. Too many questions.
Why can't life be like an IN & OUT Burger, you got 3 options.
Whatever happens... - 2005-08-22Blowin shit up... - 2005-07-07
Freaky weekend... - 2005-06-14
Wandering - 2005-05-31
I'm waiting... - 2005-05-11