2005-06-14 - 11:20 a.m.

Saturday night, however, I was awakened at 2AM by the doorbell. I looked out the window and saw a car with a spotlight, police car right? So my heart drops to my stomach for fear that something happened to a family member. So I open the door to a young deputy sheriff standing there. And he asks me, "Did you call for a domestic disturbance?" OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!! You have got to be kidding me!!! So I tell him NO, and he has the nerve to ask me if I know where an address is. Holy shit! He wasn't even on the right fucking street! I wanted to scream at the asshole that he just took 5 years off my life by scaring the shit out of me! DICKHEAD!!!

Well I had to get up early on Sunday for a Bridal Show that I was doing for my sex toy business. Took care of the last few things then loaded up the car and went to the show. Set up, had a pretty good day, had some wedding cake samples, then went for a drink afterwards. Whew! I needed that drink. Went home and watched Be Cool, then watched more tv and went to bed.

So I'm laying in bed and hear some bizarre squeaking. I think it's a cat toy, but then hear it get more intense and louder. So my first thought, BAT! I get up and follow the sound to the living room and locate it behind the tv. Sure as shit, there's the fucking bat laying upside down screaming! The cats are doing NOTHING! hahaha, WTF?! So I rack my brain thinking of what I can grab the damned thing with and come up with grill tongs. Yup, long shiny grill tongs. I empty out a box and proceed to chase the fucker down behind the tv, trying not to hurt the poor lost thing. It was awesome though, cause it kept holding on things with its little claws and screaming. It was very surreal and sitcom-like. Finally get it outside, and it just lays on the sidewalk looking around. I guess it lived, cause it wasn't there when I went to work the next morning.

So that wrapped up my ODD weekend. I swear I'm a weird-happenings magnet. I always have weird and funny stories to tell people at work. I'm just waiting for the day when the cameras are exposed and I'm told I've been being filmed for years and years.

Actually, that's kinda freaky.

yep - uh-huh